MONKEY 

SEE...

MONKEY

DON'T!

Here’s a news ‘story’ from a day or two back… that gloomy geezer in the garret in Gravesend has been at it again! 

“Following a series of consultations with global experts, WHO will begin using a new preferred term “mpox” as a synonym for monkeypox. Both names will be used simultaneously for one year while “monkeypox” is phased out. 

When the outbreak of monkeypox expanded earlier this year, racist and stigmatizing language online, in other settings and in some communities was observed and reported to WHO. In several meetings, public and private, a number of individuals and countries raised concerns and asked WHO to propose a way forward to change the name.” 

Wow! It’s up there with H-bomb, L plate and T-shirt, innit? 

It begs the question, from now on…if a monkey is going to be called an ‘m’, will that also apply to… monkey apple, monkey bars, monkey bean, monkey beetle, monkey boots, 'Monkey Business' (a great Marx Brothers' film title), monkey butter, monkey engine, monkey-faced bat, monkey-faced owl, monkey-faced squirrel, monkey fever, monkey fish, monkey flower, monkey flower, tree, monkey frog, monkey glands, monkey grass, monkey jacket, monkey kettle, monkey ladder, monkey nuts, monkey orchid, monkey puzzle, monkey puzzle tree, monkey rum, monkey shine, monkey slug, monkey tricks, monkey vine, monkey winch, and monkey wrench?

There is even a monkey Jesus!

Better watch out, because there are also a number of other diseases which might upset some sensitive people … chicken pox, Colorado tick fever, German measles, Legionnaire’s disease, Marburg virus, Middle East respiratory syndrome, Rocky Mountain spotted fever, Salmonella, and West-Nile virus.

The thought police are going to be working overtime!

Being referred to as ‘Monkees’ never seemed to bother Micky Dolenz, Davy Jones, Michael Nesmith and Peter Tork. Perhaps they… cried all the way to the bank!

 

WORDS

A headlines on the BBC News web pages read... "Emma Corrin: The Crown star calls for gender neutral awards." 

I must confess I had never heard of this person until I read the Telextext today... oh, boy! 

The star, who identifies as 'non-binary', and uses they/them pronouns, added: "I don't think the categories are inclusive enough at the moment." 

They sat on the toilet? Must have been somewhat cramped and lacking in privacy. They picked their nose! Obviously a shortage of noses these days!  Ya couldn’t make it up… but then someone must have. It's that geezer in the garret in Gorleston again!

In Yorkshire we have “thee”, “thar” and “them”, which has stood us in good stead for quite some time. We also have the saying… “There’s nowt as daft as folk!”

Apparently, the organisations behind the Baftas and Oscars have indicated they are engaged in discussions about the subject… prattle, yammer, babble... blah, blah, blah! 

"It's about everyone being able to feel acknowledged and represented," Corrin said. Blummin’ ‘ummer, missy don’t stop there, let’s be fully aware and inclusive. How about awards for… people who eat nothing but soap… people who walk backwards all the time… or people who like to bathe in tomato soup? The world’s your/it/they/them oyster, isn’t it? 

How does this contrived use of the word ‘they’ affect Morecambe and Wise, The Three Stooges, Roy Rogers and Dale Evans etc. etc.?

As we say in God’s own county… “There’s nowt as daft as fowk!” By what I have read today, it’s getting dafter!

My main concern is an assault on the English language… the most spoken language in the world. We lost the word “gay” some time ago, which has compromised some film titles and song lyrics, as does current use of the word ‘woke’, which stifles Herman’s Hermits’ “I’m into Something Good”, a favourite of my wife and myself.