WHAT A

RACKET!

The BBC has informed us that Stefano Lo Russo, the mayor of Turin has passed on the symbolic Eurovision Song Contest key to his Liverpool counterpart, Joanne Anderson for Scouse City to host the 2023 clash of the caterwaulers. 

Yes, the guy has travelled some 750 miles or more to deliver this large, ludicrous object, which looks like it has been lifted from Lucifer’s latrine… perhaps a lemon would have been more approporiate, after all they, they do grow in Italy! However, we are informed that following the handover Eurovision fever has infected Liverpool, with the final being held there on the 13 of May. 

Well, you can't make a silk purse out of an old crisp packet! 

As is now the norm, the tunes will be terrible, the pretentious performers will be the pits, the ambience will be appalling, ‘rent-a-crowd’ will be screaming, shouting and waving their arms in the air at every opportunity, and for TV viewers, Graham Norton will have another visitation of verbal diarrhea, and cry all the way to the bank!

Can’t wait to avoid it!

 MONEY

FOR

SAM

The free newspaper I acquired on a bus journey yesterday included words and a photograph pertaining to some narcissist by the name of Sam Smith… that’s the ‘queer’, not the beer! 

Personally, I didn’t know this affecter from Adam… or Eve! 

Apparently the transvestic troubadour has made a video which some people think is “over-sexualised”, and want it to come with a warning. From the look of one still photograph it reckon it ought to come with a blindfold, and most likely, earplugs. Others think Sam is the victim of double standards. His image suggests that he hasn’t even got a single standard!

The oik is obviously doing it to get publicity, become famous or infamous… either will do… and make money.

Some drag queen by the name of Pixie Polite (!) is quoted as saying, "I think the outcry just smacks of this sort of homophobia, queer phobia and transphobia." 

Well, I don’t know about that, but here in Yorkshire we have the Trans Pennine Express Rail Service, which operates across the North of England and into Scotland. It has been cancelling trains on a daily basis for months, disrupting many journeys, and the company has recently had to apologise to passengers and admitted services have not been good enough. Let that be a lesson… 

Some “trans advocate and writer” from London apparently thinks that Sam is entering an era of “embracing their (sic) queerness”, adding… “It’s really nice to see Sam step into themselves.” I think he means “himself” actually, but I appreciate that he is in the process of trying to “louse up” the English language... unless of course, there are other Sam Smiths… Lawd ‘elp us, one is far too many! 

My brother was a semi-pro singer in the 60s and he was very good, as were the three guitarists and the drummer backing him, but then you had to be in that era, otherwise you would have been booed off the stage. In the nineties, looking back on his stint as a songsmith, he declared… “We had the best… and now they’ve got the rest!” 

Yup! These days, pop music is in the commode!