Two nights ago I switched on the telly to scan down the list of programmes available. Top of the pile on BBC 1 was… and I use the term loosely… ‘a film’…  with the title, ‘KISS-ASS 2’ Snappy, eh? It has been described as a… “black comedy, superhero film” 

Of course, stateside, 'ass' doesn't mean 'donkey', it means 'arse', which is surely a problem for the reverends of the 200 Christian denominations in the U.S. when they talk about J.C. riding into Jerusalem on his ass! That must get a few guffaws from the gathered!

Apparently this so-called 'movie' was made in 2013, which meant I had managed to avoid it for nine years.‘

I confess that I was somewhat intrigued by the sight of a ‘super-heroine’… ‘Hit Girl’… played by the 16 year-old Chlöe Grace. This waiflike wench was knocking at least seven bells out of some muscular male malcontents, in what looked exactly like carefully choreographed, combat, with a notable absence of actual contact. She put one of the well-whipped wimps wise with the words… “If I ever catch you robbing again, shit-burger, I'm going to go to Saudi Arabia on your ass and cut your hand off. Promise me you're done with a life of crime?” Great dialogue, eh? Up there with “To be or not to be, that is the question…” Well, the answer in this case is... "not to be"... please!

For those who might excuse this swill as a “send up”… I would suggest that the whole shebang  should be sent up the Zambezi River… towards the Victoria Falls!

Hang your head Hollywood!