MERSEY
MASQUERADE

The mayor of Liverpool, Joanne Anderson, is reported to have said, “I’m over the moon that Eurovision is coming to Liverpool. This is a massive event and the eyes of the world will be on us in May… “

“Now begins months of work to put on the best party ever.”

So… it will be the best party… but the ditties will be dire as per usual.  

What a load of pigeon pellets… if ya can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle ‘em with baloney!

The trouble with a lot of songs you hear these days is… someone forgot to put them to music!

Previous Eurovision shows have cost between £15,000,000 and £30,000,000! That’s a massive mound of moolah for mediocrity!

The sadists of the Spanish Inquisition must be turning in their tombs, not having tumbled to the torture they could have inflicted on transgressors by trotting out umpteen totally tuneless songs and forcing them to listen.

Of course, 'Rentacrowd' will be spread throughout the audience to scream and shout, and most likely the gosh-awful, garrulous Graham Norton will be on hand to smarm somewhat.

I can't wait to miss it!