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It has been announced that Prince Andrew’s 2019 BBC ‘Newsnight’ interview with Emily Maitlis is to be made into a film called ‘Scoop’. Well, you know what dog owners have to scoop up regularly, don’t you!

Here is some advance news I have just invented. The Duke of York will be played by James Corden, and Judy Dench and Helen Mirren will share the role of Emily Maitlis.

Part way through the grilling, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Statham, and Dwayne Johnson will crash their way through the Buckingham Palace roof on abseiling ropes from a hovering helicopter, and forcibly remove the royal personage from his chair, explaining that the seat has been sabotaged. By means of their jet backpacks, the saviours will soar skywards, whence they came, to drop the dangerous device in the Serpentine, where it will explode spectacularly, but safely.

The three heroes will return to have their photograph taken with the Prince, who will later deny that he was there!

Cue credits...

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