WHAT A 

SPLASHING

IDEA!

Today is the 79th anniversary of the D Day landings, an appropriate time I reckon to launch my scheme for stopping illegal imigrants from crossing the Channel in small boats.

What's required is two or three landing craft, based on the D Day model, i.e. with a "flap" at the front which could be lowered as required. A few cattle prods would also come in handy.

As soon as the "I-Is" land in the vicinity of Dover, they are rounded up and "persuaded" to take their place on the provided British landing craft. They are then transported back across the Channel to France. When the landing craft hits the French beach, the "flap" is lowered and the "I-I"s are "persuaded" to disembark.

Once word gets around that a person can spend £2,000 or so and all they get is a round trip to Dover and back, the inflatables would disappear, like smoke in the wind!

For those who think that this would be cruel, unfair, or "not cricket", note the word "illegal" in the opening paragraph!